Depression, Anxiety

[Sam_Boss260]

Originally Posted by GT0132

Bent 8…what is the name of the meds you are on?

When reading this thread, and many other things about this topic over the years, I can relate to a lot of the situations some people find themselves in and sometimes wonder if I too need help.

Mood swings. Doesn't take a much to set me off .
Have become aggressive in my behaviour
Mostly always have little or no patience
Worry about my kids or partner dying (although they are all in exceptionally good health)
Always do things in a hurry and panic when I'm late, or could be late, for something
Tend to take things personally when I'm normally pretty laid back
Worry that I won't be liked when I meet, or are introduced to, strangers
Avoiding social gatherings (not totally but if I can easily get out of a social event I will) .
Not getting quality sleep and always feeling tired.
Seem to never feel satisfied and the activities that most people enjoy (i.e like overseas holidays, seeing a concert of a favourite band) I wonder what the big deal is and don't get excited at all.

Background. 52 year old, twice married, twice divorced, now getting married again. Senior executive, comfortable life style , doing Ok financially, have 2 boys late teens. I'm in good heath and no real problems outside the ordinary things that folks go through.

Downside: Parents split when I was 8, my only sibling committed suicide when he was 21, knew 2 people killed at Port Arthur in 1996.

Thanks for sharing.

A few things ring true here for me also, hence my question earlier in the thread, of "how do you know when you are cross that line".

I just don't know if I'm just getting overloaded with things in my life right now, or if it that these things are just not making me happy any more. Hard to say. Maybe my life is just too complicated and cluttered right now.

[iCat]

Originally Posted by Sam_Boss260

life is just too complicated and cluttered right now.

I think that can be a big problem. I know it is for me right now.

[Ross 1]

Originally Posted by Sam_Boss260

Thanks for sharing.

A few things ring true here for me also, hence my question earlier in the thread, of "how do you know when you are cross that line".

I just don't know if I'm just getting overloaded with things in my life right now, or if it that these things are just not making me happy any more. Hard to say. Maybe my life is just too complicated and cluttered right now.

I can relate to nearly everything GTO132 has written except for a different background story. I was like you, just thought I was over stretched in the work life balance stakes. That was until I had my first anxiety attack, trapped a nerve in my neck making the right hand side of my body numb. In my head I was having a stroke! Silly when I look back, but at the time very scary and real. I opted for counselling over a pysch, not saying one is better, just my preference at the time. I had quite a few sessions, learnt how to recognise when the anxiety was coming on, how to deal with it and I re prioritised my life.
Maybe an option for you to seek some expert advice before it gets to that stage, once you have an attack you then become anxious its going to happen again, creating a vicious circle.
Good luck with what ever choice you make, I talk about what happened to me with friends and was amazed at how many of them later admit they have had similar experiences. Really common, just needs to be spoken about more openly.

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by Sam_Boss260

Thanks for sharing.

A few things ring true here for me also, hence my question earlier in the thread, of "how do you know when you are cross that line".

I just don't know if I'm just getting overloaded with things in my life right now, or if it that these things are just not making me happy any more. Hard to say. Maybe my life is just too complicated and cluttered right now.

You know it wouldn't be a bad idea to ask a professional. Because if you do have it and do nothing it will only get worse. Getting it early you may be able to get on top of it before you need to take medication.

[malazn mafia]

Originally Posted by BLUEYBA

You know it wouldn't be a bad idea to ask a professional. Because if you do have it and do nothing it will only get worse. Getting it early you may be able to get on top of it before you need to take medication.

Anyone had experience with going to a professional? Going through an extremely rough patch at the moment after being cheated repeatedly by different females over the years. The one that just happened has thrown me off the edge, affected my health and I don't see any way of getting better apart from doing what I have always done by bottling everything up, keeping to myself and turning a new page, but there are only so many times you can do this before you run out of pages.

[BENT_8]

Originally Posted by GT0132

Bent 8…what is the name of the meds you are on?

When reading this thread, and many other things about this topic over the years, I can relate to a lot of the situations some people find themselves in and sometimes wonder if I too need help.

Mood swings. Doesn't take a much to set me off .
Have become aggressive in my behaviour
Mostly always have little or no patience
Worry about my kids or partner dying (although they are all in exceptionally good health)
Always do things in a hurry and panic when I'm late, or could be late, for something
Tend to take things personally when I'm normally pretty laid back
Worry that I won't be liked when I meet, or are introduced to, strangers
Avoiding social gatherings (not totally but if I can easily get out of a social event I will) .
Not getting quality sleep and always feeling tired.
Seem to never feel satisfied and the activities that most people enjoy (i.e like overseas holidays, seeing a concert of a favourite band) I wonder what the big deal is and don't get excited at all.

Background. 52 year old, twice married, twice divorced, now getting married again. Senior executive, comfortable life style , doing Ok financially, have 2 boys late teens. I'm in good heath and no real problems outside the ordinary things that folks go through.

Downside: Parents split when I was 8, my only sibling committed suicide when he was 21, knew 2 people killed at Port Arthur in 1996.

**** man, sorry I missed this.

Ok, my GP prescribed me 30mg Alepam (oxazepam) with instructions to take a half to one full tablet when I need one.
At the time I was in a real mess and he wanted to calm me down, they work a treat, however, after discussing them with him further he tells me that they are only a short term remedy as the body becomes immune to them quite quickly.
In the mean time he arranged what is called a care plan which is essentially a referral for 6 consultations with a Psychologist.
If 6 isn't enough there is provisions for another 4 to a maximum of 10 in a 12 month period.
During my discussions with the Psych. he has told me that therapy alone wont be sufficient and I will need regular medication.
That will be suggested in his final review and will be addressed by my GP to follow up.

Having read what you are experiencing I can tell you that we suffer from exactly the same symptoms and they come from very similar life experiences.

Honestly mate, when you take that first tablet you will know you've made a positive step to help yourself.
I still cant believe the difference it has made in me, a month ago I had the weight of the world on my shoulders and there are moments when I feel that pressure bearing down, but now I just take half a tablet and in no time at all im at ease again.
So far I have needed 3.5 tablets in 5 weeks which is bugger all but the change in me is very noticeable.
Only side effect, now I notice how grumpy everyone else is...lol

[GT0132]

Originally Posted by BENT_8

**** man, sorry I missed this.

Ok, my GP prescribed me 30mg Alepam (oxazepam) with instructions to take a half to one full tablet when I need one.
At the time I was in a real mess and he wanted to calm me down, they work a treat, however, after discussing them with him further he tells me that they are only a short term remedy as the body becomes immune to them quite quickly.
In the mean time he arranged what is called a care plan which is essentially a referral for 6 consultations with a Psychologist.
If 6 isn't enough there is provisions for another 4 to a maximum of 10 in a 12 month period.
During my discussions with the Psych. he has told me that therapy alone wont be sufficient and I will need regular medication.
That will be suggested in his final review and will be addressed by my GP to follow up.

Having read what you are experiencing I can tell you that we suffer from exactly the same symptoms and they come from very similar life experiences.

Honestly mate, when you take that first tablet you will know you've made a positive step to help yourself.
I still cant believe the difference it has made in me, a month ago I had the weight of the world on my shoulders and there are moments when I feel that pressure bearing down, but now I just take half a tablet and in no time at all im at ease again.
So far I have needed 3.5 tablets in 5 weeks which is bugger all but the change in me is very noticeable.
Only side effect, now I notice how grumpy everyone else is...lol

Ha ha...That's gold mate..and thanks for sharing.

So when you say you can become immune to these tablets quickly , will that still happen if you continue on your current regime of only 3.5 tabs every 5 weeks?...because, to me, that's not a big dose and may not be enough to cause immunity later on.



Cheers and thanks

[BENT_8]

Originally Posted by GT0132

Ha ha...That's gold mate..and thanks for sharing.

So when you say you can become immune to these tablets quickly , will that still happen if you continue on your current regime of only 3.5 tabs every 5 weeks?...because, to me, that's not a big dose and may not be enough to cause immunity later on.



Cheers and thanks

I guess if you followed the directions to the letter and had the maximum dosage everyday the things that trigger the anxiety would override the calming effects of the drug.
This is something I am wary of and the driving factor behind limiting how much I take.
I don't want it to be a daily necessity so on the good days I avoid it and concentrate on the positives in life.
When I feel things are building up or im faced with a scenario that triggers my anxiety I turn to the medication and I can focus again.
As I said earlier in the thread, they don't give you a high or leave you wanting more, they just clear many of the worries you have in that moment and allow you to look at the bigger picture.

[danzvtil]

Originally Posted by BENT_8

**** man, sorry I missed this.

Ok, my GP prescribed me 30mg Alepam (oxazepam) with instructions to take a half to one full tablet when I need one.

This is what I was prescribed, only took it 3 times in a month, awesome. Doesn't make you sleepy, your brain is still capable of thoughts, even the negative ones, but you don't care about them. Knowing there was a way to get through the day without flipping out publicly was a huge help I found.

[TheSneakiness]

Originally Posted by GT0132

Mood swings. Doesn't take a much to set me off .
Have become aggressive in my behaviour
Mostly always have little or no patience
Worry about my kids or partner dying (although they are all in exceptionally good health)
Always do things in a hurry and panic when I'm late, or could be late, for something
Tend to take things personally when I'm normally pretty laid back
Worry that I won't be liked when I meet, or are introduced to, strangers
Avoiding social gatherings (not totally but if I can easily get out of a social event I will) .
Not getting quality sleep and always feeling tired.
Seem to never feel satisfied and the activities that most people enjoy (i.e like overseas holidays, seeing a concert of a favourite band) I wonder what the big deal is and don't get excited at all.

Bolded is the things I exhibit each day and it's affecting me more and more. Underlined I think of with slight variations

- I worry that my wife is wanting to leave me constantly with my son and leave me on my own to struggle
- I will panic if I decide I want to go somewhere and for some reason I put a time limit on how long it should take me, so any tasks that need to be done prior to this do get done in a rush and I do forget to do things, if I feel like I'm going to be 30 seconds late I get aggressive and unreasonable.
- I sleep between 9-11 hours a night and I'm still tired.

My memory is terrible, I will remember things from years and years ago yet you ask me who the last person is I spoke to on the phone and 60% of the time I can't tell you, or you tell me to put the bin out and I say yeah no worries, then it doesn't happen.

My wife thinks I'm bi-polar due to the way the aggressive me can just flick on and off, I know I should go to a doctor however for some reason I will not go to a male doctor and if I end up with an appointment with a male specialist I will cancel it.

[benoxr]

Originally Posted by GT0132

Bent 8…what is the name of the meds you are on?

When reading this thread, and many other things about this topic over the years, I can relate to a lot of the situations some people find themselves in and sometimes wonder if I too need help.

Mood swings. Doesn't take a much to set me off .
Have become aggressive in my behaviour
Mostly always have little or no patience
Worry about my kids or partner dying (although they are all in exceptionally good health)
Always do things in a hurry and panic when I'm late, or could be late, for something
Tend to take things personally when I'm normally pretty laid back
Worry that I won't be liked when I meet, or are introduced to, strangers
Avoiding social gatherings (not totally but if I can easily get out of a social event I will) .
Not getting quality sleep and always feeling tired.
Seem to never feel satisfied and the activities that most people enjoy (i.e like overseas holidays, seeing a concert of a favourite band) I wonder what the big deal is and don't get excited at all.

Background. 52 year old, twice married, twice divorced, now getting married again. Senior executive, comfortable life style , doing Ok financially, have 2 boys late teens. I'm in good heath and no real problems outside the ordinary things that folks go through.

Downside: Parents split when I was 8, my only sibling committed suicide when he was 21, knew 2 people killed at Port Arthur in 1996.

Book me a seat at your anxiety club also. This is my list in comparison to yours GTO132.
Mood swings. Doesn't take much to set me off.
Have become aggressive in my behaviour and I can change to aggressive from presumably calm very quickly.
Have little or no patience, most of the time.
Worry about my family leaving me. In fact I expect it. Even when I have a shower and things haven’t been particularly good between us, I exit the shower expecting to walk out to an empty house. I expect to get home from work and find they have all left. The irony here is that my behaviour is itself going to make this come true.
Tend to take things personally.
Worry that I won't be liked when I meet, or are introduced to, strangers. I feel when I talk to people, they are quietly hoping I will quickly move on or I think that I will say stupid things then they think that I ‘aren’t all there’.
Avoiding social gatherings (not totally but if I can easily get out of a social event I will).
Not getting quality sleep and always feeling tired.
Seem to never feel satisfied and the activities that most people enjoy (i.e like overseas holidays, seeing a concert of a favourite band) I wonder what the big deal is and don't get excited at all.
Never feel happy, ever.
Have a couple of work acquaintances and they are good people but never see them outside of work. Have absolutely no friends and although I mostly blame this on my anti-social job I secretly believe it’s because I’m a pain in the rear end.

Background – 53 year old, married once but she died of leukaemia in 1995. 2000 I was diagnosed as clinically depressed and suicidal. Overcame that very dark period. My only child and his best mate died in a car accident in 2002, aged 19. In 2010 started to see the beginning of all the above traits/emotions.
After reading all the posts here, it's very clear I need to seek help. Thank you to everyone for sharing. I don't feel so alone now.

[Grega]

GT0132 - sounds like you are a little anxious, mate, where you are is a credit to you in life with all that you've been thru - well done dude!.

I recommend you speak with your GP and ask for a referral to a psychologist mate, as you'd like to discuss some things. Remember that a GP is a general practitioner, and may (or may not) be psych trained, whilst they are a good sounding point/sounding board, they can't help like a psych can. Psychs study for years and have years of experience - mine got to the bottom of my issues after 3 discussions. She is very helpful indeed.

Couple of things to bear in mind - with anti-depressents.
1. They take a while to settle in (up to 6 weeks) before they begin to help.
2. Remember they are there to help you get over the stuff you need to work through with a psych or someone similar.
3. I tried Lexapro which made me really ill. So that didn't work, so I moved to Cymbalta which has helped me quite a bit (I am fairly introverted, whereas with the Cymbalta alot of this fear is managed)
4. Read up on the side effects of whatever med you are subscribed so you know what you're getting into. Mine at first leave you in a bit of an interesting place while on the lower dosage which passes, then you go to a higher dosage after 4 weeks.

Just remember that the meds are there to help you through the difficult stuff, I was hell bent against them but, after seeing the psych a few times she prodded at the core of me which left me utterly destroyed the next couple of days after my session, thats where the meds REALLY have helped me.

Someone mentioned in one of the posts its good to keep busy, but when their mind wanders then not so good. I too have practiced this for many MANY MANY years, its called avoidance, I'm not good at it I'm the ******* master at it . Most people do it bear in mind.. Yes its nice to be busy but when I am left alone with my mind, I get myself in knots and REALLY mean in knots.

Anyway, hope my blurb helps. Remember the stats, one in five have mental health issues, two in five have anxiety and depression. And the stats are increasing in this sad ****** up society we live (exist) in.

EDIT : One more thing. Sleep is key. Absolutely imperative you get it. If you don't, break the cycle - get some sleeping meds to help you break the cycle - don't stay on them though. Use them to break the cycle to get back to a better sleeping routine. Again, like anti-depressents - they help re-establish things, not to be used long term. I have a thing called Imovane which works for me - it is prescription only.

[Franco Cozzo]

If you guys want to go to some form of counselling but its too expensive for you, you can book an appointment with your GP and ask to go onto a care plan, and you can get 5 free visits to the psych.

Better than no visits IMO, should give it a crack as you can talk to them about anything which might be hard to raise to family members/friends.

[flightstrike]

I'll pitch in here as it might provide some help/advice to someone.

About seven months ago, my 25 year old sister took her own life. My father found her peacefully "asleep" in her bed, it was clear that she had simply taken something and slipped away in her sleep.

It's a very long story, and I'm still not sure I know all the facts as I moved out of home several years ago. But I know she'd been struggling in some way for a long time for various reasons, some of which I think she's taken to her grave. But the last straw seems to have been a bad run of Uni exams that basically (in her mind) was a complete show stopper after SIX years of Uni.

She'd had many low moments, but always managed to pick herself back up, only to be kicked in the guts yet again. As a family, we offered her as much support as we could when things turned ugly, but she was very stubborn and you had to be very careful as you risked your own life if you persisted to get "in her face".

I was on a deployment when I received a call from my mother saying her Uni results arrived and it wasn't good... Alarm bells immediately went off in my head as I knew this was a path back down the slippery slope. I ordered mum to give her space and she will come out of her shell ONLY when she's ready (refer to previous paragraph regarding your own safety!!!)

The best way I could support her was to simply let her know I was thinking of her and always available for a chat (unfortunately I lived interstate for the last fours years). Sometimes she'd take me up on the offer, other times she simply acknowledged it and went and hid in her room for days.

Less than a week later, I had just walked in the door from grocery shopping when I answered the call that changed my entire existence and will haunt me for the rest of my life. Within two hours I was on a flight heading home unfortunately having to overnight in Melbourne on the way as I had missed the last connecting flight by about thirty minutes.

Over the next few months I spent at home, the whole family discussed several times what they perceived to have happened and any signs they noticed. In hindsight, many of the signs they taught us to look for in high school were in fact there... But no body noticed them (or maybe didn't want to acknowledge). The most obvious one was that in the days leading up to it, she apparently appeared to be at peace with life. This is a DANGEROUS red flag, as it usually signals that they've made their decision, and they're very much at peace as they know it will all be over very soon (on their terms). She rang me (as it turns out, the night prior) and had a quick chat about nothing in particular. Had a bit of a laugh and just general banter as siblings do. Again, in hindsight, she was saying goodbye to me.

It turns out she had sorted many of her affairs and it became obvious that this wasn't a impulse decision... It was planned very carefully. I honestly believe that this was always her contingency if her Uni studies fell over. She was the most passionate person I'd ever met and I think in her mind, it was all or nothing.

The point of this story is that it's very important that you never ignore a red flag. It could be something so small and almost not worth talking about, but it may very well be a desperate cry for help. Everyone reacts differently, in my sister case, I don't believe pushing her was going to help, it woukdve only aggravated the situation. But for others, a bit of a push for help maybe what they need. You know your family and friends, you know how they react and you need to act accordingly, you may very well save their life.

If you've made it this far, thanks for taking the time to read and hopefully it wasn't a waste of space on the form.

Thanks.

[backbreaker]

Originally Posted by flightstrike

I'll pitch in here as it might provide some help/advice to someone.

About seven months ago, my 25 year old sister took her own life. My father found her peacefully "asleep" in her bed, it was clear that she had simply taken something and slipped away in her sleep.

It's a very long story, and I'm still not sure I know all the facts as I moved out of home several years ago. But I know she'd been struggling in some way for a long time for various reasons, some of which I think she's taken to her grave. But the last straw seems to have been a bad run of Uni exams that basically (in her mind) was a complete show stopper after SIX years of Uni.

She'd had many low moments, but always managed to pick herself back up, only to be kicked in the guts yet again. As a family, we offered her as much support as we could when things turned ugly, but she was very stubborn and you had to be very careful as you risked your own life if you persisted to get "in her face".

I was on a deployment when I received a call from my mother saying her Uni results arrived and it wasn't good... Alarm bells immediately went off in my head as I knew this was a path back down the slippery slope. I ordered mum to give her space and she will come out of her shell ONLY when she's ready (refer to previous paragraph regarding your own safety!!!)

The best way I could support her was to simply let her know I was thinking of her and always available for a chat (unfortunately I lived interstate for the last fours years). Sometimes she'd take me up on the offer, other times she simply acknowledged it and went and hid in her room for days.

Less than a week later, I had just walked in the door from grocery shopping when I answered the call that changed my entire existence and will haunt me for the rest of my life. Within two hours I was on a flight heading home unfortunately having to overnight in Melbourne on the way as I had missed the last connecting flight by about thirty minutes.

Over the next few months I spent at home, the whole family discussed several times what they perceived to have happened and any signs they noticed. In hindsight, many of the signs they taught us to look for in high school were in fact there... But no body noticed them (or maybe didn't want to acknowledge). The most obvious one was that in the days leading up to it, she apparently appeared to be at peace with life. This is a DANGEROUS red flag, as it usually signals that they've made their decision, and they're very much at peace as they know it will all be over very soon (on their terms). She rang me (as it turns out, the night prior) and had a quick chat about nothing in particular. Had a bit of a laugh and just general banter as siblings do. Again, in hindsight, she was saying goodbye to me.

It turns out she had sorted many of her affairs and it became obvious that this wasn't a impulse decision... It was planned very carefully. I honestly believe that this was always her contingency if her Uni studies fell over. She was the most passionate person I'd ever met and I think in her mind, it was all or nothing.

The point of this story is that it's very important that you never ignore a red flag. It could be something so small and almost not worth talking about, but it may very well be a desperate cry for help. Everyone reacts differently, in my sister case, I don't believe pushing her was going to help, it woukdve only aggravated the situation. But for others, a bit of a push for help maybe what they need. You know your family and friends, you know how they react and you need to act accordingly, you may very well save their life.

If you've made it this far, thanks for taking the time to read and hopefully it wasn't a waste of space on the form.

Thanks.

Im not one with great words.All I can say, so sorry for your lose & thank you for shearing this with us all. a very sad story.GOD BLESS.

[pitrack_1]

Originally Posted by flightstrike

I'll pitch in here as it might provide some help/advice to someone.

About seven months ago, my 25 year old sister took her own life.

...

The point of this story is that it's very important that you never ignore a red flag. It could be something so small and almost not worth talking about, but it may very well be a desperate cry for help. Everyone reacts differently, in my sister case, I don't believe pushing her was going to help, it woukdve only aggravated the situation. But for others, a bit of a push for help maybe what they need. You know your family and friends, you know how they react and you need to act accordingly, you may very well save their life.

If you've made it this far, thanks for taking the time to read and hopefully it wasn't a waste of space on the form.

Thanks.

Flightstrike,

I have only just joined the forum and stumbled on this thread- have only read the tail end of it, i.e. your post.

I am very sorry for your loss and thank-you for sharing. I know how you feel, I have just lost an close in-law this past week in a similar fashion and have been down a similar path myself in the past. The family and my wife are still overseas dealing with the situation and arrangements.

Contrary to yours, there seems to have been no real red flags. To my mind and from the info I have gleaned it was planned and seemingly emotionally hidden.

However I think I had a warning (yellow/orange) flag only a couple of days before, albeit second-hand. Some other signs over time had been making me start to pay attention based on my own personal experiences. Unfortunately events took a final turn before I could call and ask.

Thanks you for your words, they are valuable to me. Your last main paragraph is important but you must be careful to detect a genuine red flag and not an imaginary one, and therein lies the difficulty. It was a cumulation of little things over a few months that was going to make me enquire based on the last one, albeit enquire too late.

Most importantly, you can't blame yourself afterwards for someone else's behaviour.

The heavy lifting for myself, family and friends will begin through support for my wife and the relatives when they return from overseas.

[P plater]

Yeah I know, when I was in state care I had a severe bout of depression and I have only just getting over it, it started when I had my mentor taken off me and because I suffer from autism, I couldn't grip why they did it and so blamed myself for it, then buying a red EA falcon which I called Christine and having care workers calling it a piece of junk, ******, rust bucket and other derogatory names that just served to to inflame the issue, but out of everyone only 2 carers actually took time to look at it and complement it then I got a new mentor who is cool, but then my head space took another tumble when the falcon got serious mechanical issues and had to be sold to a wrecker but with plenty of time and support from my mentor and family I dragged myself out of the dark place I was in to where I am now, still touchy about the falcon but slowly getting better with it and I hope that this helps some one else who feels down and out to get a spark back

[cram_it_frog]

well I made 60 years old and I can say now life is wonderful yes I have had my low times divorce spinal injury long time pain problems but I am alive and have a wonderful wife

as I say life experiences some good some bad and you are a dead for a very long time so take what you have and make the most of it

Sadly I do know of of good friends who did not make it to 60 I think of them now and then wishing they were with me to celebrate that mile stone

[NickyN]

Originally Posted by flightstrike

I'll pitch in here as it might provide some help/advice to someone.

About seven months ago, my 25 year old sister took her own life. My father found her peacefully "asleep" in her bed, it was clear that she had simply taken something and slipped away in her sleep.

It's a very long story, and I'm still not sure I know all the facts as I moved out of home several years ago. But I know she'd been struggling in some way for a long time for various reasons, some of which I think she's taken to her grave. But the last straw seems to have been a bad run of Uni exams that basically (in her mind) was a complete show stopper after SIX years of Uni.

She'd had many low moments, but always managed to pick herself back up, only to be kicked in the guts yet again. As a family, we offered her as much support as we could when things turned ugly, but she was very stubborn and you had to be very careful as you risked your own life if you persisted to get "in her face".

I was on a deployment when I received a call from my mother saying her Uni results arrived and it wasn't good... Alarm bells immediately went off in my head as I knew this was a path back down the slippery slope. I ordered mum to give her space and she will come out of her shell ONLY when she's ready (refer to previous paragraph regarding your own safety!!!)

The best way I could support her was to simply let her know I was thinking of her and always available for a chat (unfortunately I lived interstate for the last fours years). Sometimes she'd take me up on the offer, other times she simply acknowledged it and went and hid in her room for days.

Less than a week later, I had just walked in the door from grocery shopping when I answered the call that changed my entire existence and will haunt me for the rest of my life. Within two hours I was on a flight heading home unfortunately having to overnight in Melbourne on the way as I had missed the last connecting flight by about thirty minutes.

Over the next few months I spent at home, the whole family discussed several times what they perceived to have happened and any signs they noticed. In hindsight, many of the signs they taught us to look for in high school were in fact there... But no body noticed them (or maybe didn't want to acknowledge). The most obvious one was that in the days leading up to it, she apparently appeared to be at peace with life. This is a DANGEROUS red flag, as it usually signals that they've made their decision, and they're very much at peace as they know it will all be over very soon (on their terms). She rang me (as it turns out, the night prior) and had a quick chat about nothing in particular. Had a bit of a laugh and just general banter as siblings do. Again, in hindsight, she was saying goodbye to me.

It turns out she had sorted many of her affairs and it became obvious that this wasn't a impulse decision... It was planned very carefully. I honestly believe that this was always her contingency if her Uni studies fell over. She was the most passionate person I'd ever met and I think in her mind, it was all or nothing.

The point of this story is that it's very important that you never ignore a red flag. It could be something so small and almost not worth talking about, but it may very well be a desperate cry for help. Everyone reacts differently, in my sister case, I don't believe pushing her was going to help, it woukdve only aggravated the situation. But for others, a bit of a push for help maybe what they need. You know your family and friends, you know how they react and you need to act accordingly, you may very well save their life.

If you've made it this far, thanks for taking the time to read and hopefully it wasn't a waste of space on the form.

Thanks.

@ flightstrike: My sincere condolences. I hope she is finally at peace. (Her sense of peace, not anyone else's idea of peace.)

And I hope your family, her loved ones and friends in time realize that sadly, as easy as it is being the Monday Morning Quarterback (this could be an American saying about having hindsight) and as much as you all wanted to help her, ..... in the end it was her decision. I also hope you don't blame yourselves. She wouldn't want you to blame yourselves.

i've experienced this too.

[Grega]

@ flightstrike. sorry for your loss mate. having been down this path, theres not alot you could do, like you mentioned, she'd made up her own mind on how to find peace.

my father rang me to discuss my brain fart at the start of this year. he said to me i could see the signs there was something not right etc which is about where i stopped in coz i could feel he was blaming himself, where i told him there is nothing he could have done. even if he had have asked i would have told him everything is perfectly fine i am good as gold and made a few jokes to lighten the mood (my psych pointed out when i am melting down i make light of things ie: joke and ridicule myself) - that was after 3 sessions with her.

bear with me because i'm just coming out of a week of being in a very dark place and i'm lucky to be writing this the feeling of hopelessness and nowhere to go is what pushes me to the point. even with all the support in the world it doesnt matter you make up your own mind and rationalise it as best as you can and it seems like the only way out is the end. i have my exact plan set out as well as most people who are suicidal do and would entirely make sure my **** is in order so that people are not left to pickup the pieces.

i keep myself occupied with my cars (have been extremely busy of late) to try and keep my **** it order. works for most of the time

[iCat]

So much sadness and confusion. What is it about our lives that even though we appear to have it all, we don't. Not at all. Is this an affliction of our modern day life, the way we see others on social media, how EVERYONE on there seems to have such a damn good life? Have we lost the connection society used to have?

And should everyone in this thread just meet up and actually talk?

That would be healing.

[snopony]

Don't ever make the mistake of comparing your lifestyle to anyones on social media. Only stuff that people WANT you to see /appear is on there. for every happy snap or flash car or house there is debt, arguments and the general crap that people keep behind closed doors. All people have quirks and personalities that don't "Fit The Norm"..... and who's to say what the norm is..? thats right..... theres no standard apart from the ones we impose on ourselves. It can takes years to teach your brain to say "hey this is who I am, this is what I do, and I'm good with that." Unfortunately a lot of people get lost/ harm themselves before they reach that point.

[buggerlugs]

Hey benoxr, great post and good on you for getting it off your chest..........It has to help talking about it..............

[TheSneakiness]

Just had a whinge to the missus about my train being late due to someone nearly passing out on board and getting somewhat in trouble for not rendering assistance to this person and what if she died and would the time you are late matter to this person's family.

I did think about it for like half a minute before stopping and thinking I genuinely did not care if this person did faint. They were being attended to by rail staff and other passengers on the platform so it's none of my business.

Would a lack of compassion constitute toward depression and anxiety. Cause I know I've said a number of times to the missus and others I only care about people I have direct contact and daily interaction with.

[Ross 1]

Originally Posted by Rapid_Axe

Just had a whinge to the missus about my train being late due to someone nearly passing out on board and getting somewhat in trouble for not rendering assistance to this person and what if she died and would the time you are late matter to this person's family.

I did think about it for like half a minute before stopping and thinking I genuinely did not care if this person did faint. They were being attended to by rail staff and other passengers on the platform so it's none of my business.

Would a lack of compassion constitute toward depression and anxiety. Cause I know I've said a number of times to the missus and others I only care about people I have direct contact and daily interaction with.

A lack of compassion can be part of the depression cycle, but it is not necessarily a bad thing if you are only caring about yourself and immediate family. Whilst I was dealing with my depression and anxiety I'm sure people regarded me as uncaring and selfish, but sometimes in life the long term goal is worth it. You need to concentrate on you at this junction in your life, in my case the compassion for others slowly returned as I felt better in myself.

[Franco Cozzo]

Originally Posted by Rapid_Axe

Just had a whinge to the missus about my train being late due to someone nearly passing out on board and getting somewhat in trouble for not rendering assistance to this person and what if she died and would the time you are late matter to this person's family.

I did think about it for like half a minute before stopping and thinking I genuinely did not care if this person did faint. They were being attended to by rail staff and other passengers on the platform so it's none of my business.

Would a lack of compassion constitute toward depression and anxiety. Cause I know I've said a number of times to the missus and others I only care about people I have direct contact and daily interaction with.

I think thats pretty natural, what are the people to you out and about on the street, on public transport etc.

People in the line in front of you when trying to order coffee, people sitting near you on the train, people standing next to you on the street of CBD waiting to cross street etc.

Just strangers really, its easy not to have compassion for randoms you don't know/haven't met or had any interaction with.

Sure they have their own lives, families, friends etc but everyone on that train is just some stranger going about their daily life, just another person on the damn overpacked train and in the line in front of you to get coffee that stretches too damn far

[wicksy]

good to hear people opening up about depression/aniexty, I'll explain my story.

So the last year i guess i havent been feeling too great, waking up thinking why did i wake up, wonder what **** today will bring, why do i bother trying and everything in between, it kept going on for a while on and off but i didnt think much about it. My wife suffered depression when she was younger and she picked up on it and all sat me down explained everything i was doing and told me to do some research, i shrugged it off as a male normally does, then i sat outside watering the lawn and thought bugger it i will do some reseach.

So after an hour of looking online and thinking wow i do have something wrong me i went and told my wife, she knew something was up but wanted me to see if i would pick up on it, she stepped in and told me when she thought nope he doesnt realise.

I have been talking to heaps of people who are in the same boat as me, it feels good to talk to people it helps out alot, im just taking it one day at a time, yeah i have bad days and good days, just recently i have was having more good days which was awesome i felt on top of the world for a change, smile ear to ear watching my son ride his new ktm i bought him. It was all looking up until Friday arvo, got a call to say one of good mates had committed suicide.

Well that threw a spanner in the works didnt it, i was back to square one again back to the thinking of negative crap, plus i have had massive issues with the In laws which hasnt helped at all, so now i am meant to be sleeping for work but i am not in the right state of mind to even think about operating a dump truck carrying 200t of dirt, work understand which is great i have a good network of friends i constantly talk to and aswell as people i barely now i have been talking too.

Sorry if it doesnt make sense, i am trying to hold back tears as i type this.

[SSD-85]

I have spent 99% of my time over the past 2 years coming to terms with certain things.

I am not going to discuss them here, because there is nothing worth discussing.

However, as I have said before, everything happens for a reason. And it is always for the better, despite how it may appear.

[LTDHO]

You can't look at the news paper without seeing death, destruction or just plain bad news.

Not really the way we should be started the day!

Looking around on any given day there are many things to bring a person down, this is without actively looking for anything in particular.

IMO it comes to just focusing on what is positive, encouraging and inspiring whilst doing your best to block out anything that leads you down the wrong path.

Sadly, the latter is easy for some.

[Mesa]

I was diagnosed with 'Major Depressive Disorder' in 2008. Didn't even know what it was let alone having it. To me depression was for the weak miserable sods who spent all day sulking over something and didn't want to do anything about it apart from blaming everyone else. I was wrong. I knew I was constantly angry for no reason and often planned suicide. I wasn't 'sad' or 'upset' over anything at all. The morning I put the wheels in motion was the only time one of my workmates turned up early and foiled the attempt. He didn't realise what I was doing, still doesn't to this day. A few days later I was sent to the medical centre when the anger thing was getting out of control by my boss. Figuring the best I'd scam was a few days off, I went. I was immediately hospitalised. I was diagnosed shortly after. I spent many months in and out of hospital on a variety of medications. In 2011 I was permanently pensioned off from work, classed 'unemployable'.

I've been on many different medications including Lithium, Zoloft, Valdoxyn etc etc. TBH, I never felt any difference at all, so I stopped taking meds a year ago. I also continue to see a psychologist and psychiatrist.

I've been lucky in the sense that I was covered financially through my employer. After long protracted legal battles I've been awarded costs for future care. There's still legal battles ahead. Generally over the cause (constant exposure to large quantities of highly toxic chemicals) I'm also lucky to have a supportive wife and kids though the struggle has taken it's toll in some of those relationships. There's also the physical aspects that play on my mind like loosing fine motor skills (hands mainly), small spots on the frontal lobe of the brain, short term memory loss, unexplained growths on the arms etc etc.

Each day is different. I still have a short fuse, though I do control it better. I certainly have days where I prefer to be left well alone. To be pensioned off so early in my working life and career before I hit 50 still hurts. My quality of life has stabilised, if not improved slightly. If there was a miracle cure for this I'd take it.

Whatever your preconceptions on depression are, I can't stress enough the need to seek medical advice ASAP if you feel something maybe wrong. However what medication works for some may have zero affect on others and every case is different. There are also a number of helplines you can call anonymously. Most of all, talk to someone, anyone. It helps and besides, we all deserve to see how it all turns out!!