Feel like doing damage

[MDS69]

Originally Posted by svo supporter

The $900 was the lawyers fee for my defense....(probably cost more these days).....Yes a **** off proving my innocience, however I'm putting it out there for the people who are advising to belt these little turds, the cost of proving your innocience......So worth thinking twice.

As for my situation....The coppers were already on route, when I hit the bloke......But I still try and figure out what I could have done different to prevent such drastic action...no luck yet...

Mate I reckon that is $900.00 well spent. You might be out of pocket but the satisfaction of putting a wanna be thug in his place and I think you have done the community a favour as he would think twice next time.

[FRDGAL]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

My 12 year old been bullied by certain other kids for a couple years now, and it usually starts from the school bus in the morning to getting off the school bus in the afternoon.

Approached the principle about the bullying which ranges from petty group rejection to death threats (some of these very disturbing). He says its just kids being kids and that my kid has a big mouth and is just as guilty

Wife rings up the mother of the main bully this morning, and from what i heard on this end was a very light converstation of basically "could you please have a talk to your kid about the bullying, yes i know it takes two to tango ive already had a word to mine" blah blah

So this ******* ***** mother of the bully turns up at school today finds my kid in the playground and literally gets in his face and starts yelling at him, wheres he is left in tears and runs straight to the principal not knowing what to do. Principal makes a phonecall informing my wife at work what happened and that he will be sending a letter to each party of what happened.

If it was a bloke i would have 'dealt' with it, but because it was the mother, i let the wife go over their house and ask what the hell was she thinking trying to intimidate a little boy like that. Well the ***** denied even speaking to him, then stormed out the front door trying to hit my wife being held back by the husband which had a look on his face of not knowing of anything that had been going on.

And my 5 year old came home in tears today because they are starting on him too, one of them being a kid from the next door neighbour with his precious lawn as per my other whinge thread.

The wife then goes to the police and mentions the trespassing ***** mother abusing my kid at school, and he said none of it is his problem, whilst also mentioning how he received a phonecall from her that my wife turned up at their house trying to hit her.......... all lies bullshtt, but no-one is listening

Now i get to the point where im under alot of stress & just feel like killing someone, and im afraid of approaching unapproachable people because i cant tolerate any nonsense like this.

So how does everyone else deal with their kids getting bullied !!??

I went through a similar thing a couple of years ago with my younger daughter. She was bullied by a girl in school who also happen to live at the end of our street. This girl was harrassing my daughter, having threatening notes passed to her with the foulest language written on them. It got to the point where my daughter didn't want to go, she would cry and beg to stay home. I tried to teach her that she needed to hold her head up and continue on with things and go to school and do the best she can and try to ignore this girl while I try to sort this out. The last thing I wanted her to do was hide under a rock. As a parent, I felt I had to do this the right way. I had been to the school repeatedly & they told me they had spoken to her parents yadda yadda. I tried speaking to them but they never answered their door for me. One morning, I was walking my daughter to school, I was trailing a little behind her and I heard someone yell out a filthy word and my daughter looked at me and started crying. The other girl didn't realise I was there. So I asked "what did you just say" she had no reply, and that was the last straw for me. I went straight to the principal and I threatened the school with legal action unless something was done. I told them I'd had enough, that I have asked them repeatedly to sort this out. Well the school called the parents in again, I was called in seperately. They assured me the parents would resolve this problem and then it just stopped. Within a couple of days, it had all stopped. They were seperated, according to the principal, there was a staff meeting, they were put on alert, they were to be kept seperate at all times. About 2/3 months later, that family moved out of our street. They now live just around the corner. And my daughter and this girl are now friends. I don't know what happen in their home but that girl had apologised to my daughter for what had happen. As I said they're now friends, they don't go out of their way to hang around eachother at school but they're friends & everything is fine. There have been no problems. What she did to my daughter was terrible but I have always wondered if everything was ok in that's girls home for her to have acted in such a manner. I always heard the parents fighting. I have to wonder if maybe they took a look at themselves and found where the problem was because that girl changed, she's very different now. Not condoning anything of course, bullying is wrong on every level but you have to wonder where it begins with most kids. Luckily in our situation it ended positively.

Our schools have a duty of care to our children. I'd been to them several times to sort this out but they lacked in that duty of care and I was more than prepared to call in lawyers. Bullying can push & has pushed children to an unfortunate edge and so there's no game playing here. It's very serious. Some people may think calling in lawyers is extreme, I don't! When you think of the ramifications of bullying, it's not an outrageous step at all.

[Stagg]

I got bullied a lot in primary school and high school for the most trivial things, having long hair and listening to heavy metal, so I was a pretty different kind of guy anyway...

I got beaten up in primary school at the age of 10, by more 10 year olds. I went to a private primary school and a primary high school in Western Australia, and where I grew up it was predominantly Italian families, and I also got bullied because I wasn't Italian.

One day I actually had a classmate come up behind me on the computer with a piece of fishing line and try to choke me, and looking back on it I don't know why, but I didn't ever do anything about it, didn't hit him back, didn't cry, just went on doing my work...

This kind of bullying went on from about year 5 through to year 11. What happened was in year 11 I got my first girlfriend, and then it turned out that she was just trying to find ways that her and her *** mates could really get to me and hurt me. When I found out that she was actually sleeping with one of these guys I asked her about it, and she laughed in my face and said "why would anyone ever love you?" and that actually did make me cry.. Anyway when this guy started laughing as well, I just ended up swinging blindly at him and turned out that I broke his nose, gave him a black eye, broke his arm and gave him concussion. I got suspended from school after that, however all those folks who bullied me after that stopped bullying, they all just gave me shifty looks from there on. Looking back on it now, honestly I don't feel remorseful from what I did, because everyone and especially that pair broke my heart and really hurt me.


And mid last year it surprised me talking to some people from high school, what that pair was up to. He in in prison for drug possession and she fell pregnant at 17, living on the dole, and is an ice addict. The only downside to all this is that this girl's toddler is going to grow up with her and most likely not have a dad, and could well end up being bullied or become a bully herself when she goes to school.


Being out of school almost 5 years now and working and paying bills in the big world there are still bullies out there, but most of the time they are easier to handle. Interestingly a lot of real estate agents are real bullies, just my observation..

[svo supporter]

Originally Posted by K93George

I agree that attacking the children/ parents is a bad idea, I definitely wouldn't do it just out of the blue for revenge but when you are this young boy getting teamed on and attacked do you just sit there like a boxing bag and get punched, kicked? You either flee or fight, both work. You run to the teachers/ parents and continue to avoid these abusive people. Or you can fight back, whether that means picking up the chair you're sitting on or using your hands and feet. Either way, what is the child going to do at the time he is being attacked?

If they are just using words, that is not as bad. Kids get embarrassed over little things, if the victim said something back to the bully/s like "whatever lobster face" that would come across as seriously offensive.

Sure part of me says get your kid to retaliate, part says no, because of my previous experience....

Getting the school principal involved is the start.....If no satisfaction, the education department and the police.

[svo supporter]

Originally Posted by MDS69

Mate I reckon that is $900.00 well spent. You might be out of pocket but the satisfaction of putting a wanna be thug in his place and I think you have done the community a favour as he would think twice next time.

I doubt it with that one....The misses saw the ****** about 12 months ago, and he had a couple of marks on his face....One from me and the other obviously from someone else...(opposite side to my reminder)


However he is probably one of those idiots that won't learn.....

IMA, I don't want it to look like I'm proud of resorting to those methods, as I'm not....Just incase others think different....I'm just putting the costs out there for future reference.

[AU Mont]

Bit of a sad story their stagg, good to see youve bounced back and realized how pathetic these people really were.

Originally Posted by Stagg

Being out of school almost 5 years now and working and paying bills in the big world there are still bullies out there, but most of the time they are easier to handle.

your right about bullies after school life.

where i live, a certain bikie group has a pretty firm hold here. The young kids who are friends or know the bikies siblings aspire to be them, and spend alot of time in the "supporters clubhouses" wearing their shirts, running errands etc. These are young kids.

I dont really have a problem with the actual members, because i know to keep to myself and there will be no issue........... i am however very wary of these kids/teens who like to cause trouble out in public places trying to show thier authority, becuase of who they hang out with regulary. I could fold them without a sweat, however the domino effect is what you need to fear...

[grandpa_spec_F6]

So I heard <insert forum> members are having a "group meeting" at <insert names> house?

Jokes aside, good on you for keeping your head screwed on. Also, what chevypower said.

[ford71V8]

This thread became a conversation at home last night after my little guy came home with a story about being punched in the face by a class mate. He has just started Grade 2 and is a reserved kid, seems to make friends no problem but quiet.

This is the 2nd time he has been on the receiving end from same puncher.

Teachers were made aware of first instance. Principle was brought in at the 2nd.

I've told my boy not to take it.
If you are hit again - 3 strikes, you're out - punch him back.
Then go tell your teacher what you have done and why.
I'll take it from there.

I feel for the little fella in this thread, cant believe I am now seeing my own son having to deal with this crap. I'm expecting it to be sorted out quickly so they can move on, I hope I am right.

[AU Mont]

sorry to hear that. The other kid will most probably have his parents contacted and spoken to, but it really wont reverse the way he's been brought up so will happen again but in other ways like intmidation, stealing lunch etc

my little boy in prep last year had a lot of trouble with a little brat who punched him, stood on his lunch, tried to push him down stairs, and when i asked my son to punch him between the eyes.... only once so he gets the point, my son say he cant..... because the other kid is 'tougher' because he does karate. Its hard trying to explain to a little kid that other little kids are full of **** lol

[poppa smurf]

Originally Posted by ford71V8

This thread became a conversation at home last night after my little guy came home with a story about being punched in the face by a class mate. He has just started Grade 2 and is a reserved kid, seems to make friends no problem but quiet.

This is the 2nd time he has been on the receiving end from same puncher.

Teachers were made aware of first instance. Principle was brought in at the 2nd.

I've told my boy not to take it.
If you are hit again - 3 strikes, you're out - punch him back.
Then go tell your teacher what you have done and why.
I'll take it from there.

I feel for the little fella in this thread, cant believe I am now seeing my own son having to deal with this crap. I'm expecting it to be sorted out quickly so they can move on, I hope I am right.

that is actionable assault and police can and should be called........a visit from uniform officers to the principal and parents usually nips it in the bud

[BENT_8]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

sorry to hear that. The other kid will most probably have his parents contacted and spoken to, but it really wont reverse the way he's been brought up so will happen again but in other ways like intmidation, stealing lunch etc

my little boy in prep last year had a lot of trouble with a little brat who punched him, stood on his lunch, tried to push him down stairs, and when i asked my son to punch him between the eyes.... only once so he gets the point, my son say he cant..... because the other kid is 'tougher' because he does karate. Its hard trying to explain to a little kid that other little kids are full of **** lol

Sorry to hear of the issues your still having, as a parent there is no greater feeling of helplessness than when your kids are copping it at school etc.
I've been through it over the years, my eldest son put up with a bit for while, i eventually told him to strike back but this just got him suspended.

Just this week he told me one of his school mates had recently taken her life due to bullying, brought it all rushing back.

I came across one of these martial arts experts at school once. I went to a private Catholic College where the majority were Italian or Asian.
In yr 10 i found myself in a situation where this guy wanted to teach me a lesson and having known him for about 7 yrs i knew he had progressed up the ranks of Jujitsu.
Anyway, one day we were heading on to the oval for PE when he made some remark which brought it all to a head.
I stopped, turned to him and said take your best shot, to which he gave me 3 quick punches to the face.
My nose split, as did my lip and my vision went blurry as the 3rd punch landed on my eye.
Everyone had stopped and looked including the PE teacher, at which time i spat out some blood, looked him in the eye and reminded him that despite my superficial injuries i was still standing.
I then mentioned that in the near future he would discover what i had to offer, but that could wait until his suspension was served, he was marched away and went missing for a week.
Upon returning he decided we should proberbly be friends from then on.

One thing i must question though in all of this, is bullying really that much worse than 30yrs ago, or, are kids just less resilient in how they cope emotionally to ridicule these days?

[irish2]

Originally Posted by BENT_8

One thing i must question though in all of this, is bullying really that much worse than 30yrs ago, or, are kids just less resilient in how they cope emotionally to ridicule these days?

I think they are simply less resilient. Parents complain about giving them report cards because of the stress on their little ones. How else do we know what needs improving if you aren't told.

I got into a fight at school and didn't retaliate when I was about 11 (I would never say I was bullied). My dad said to me "Next time someone crosses you, smash him". That is exactly what I did. After punching a few "tough guys" to the ground, nobody messed with me for the rest of my schooling. I was never suspended because I never started the fight.

[ford71V8]

Originally Posted by poppa smurf

that is actionable assault and police can and should be called........a visit from uniform officers to the principal and parents usually nips it in the bud

Nipping it in the bud is what I want to do.

If there is any evidence that this has continued today, I wont hesitate taking this further. Am expecting a phonecall within the hour from my wife with an update.
I don't wont this kid picking on anyone else either, but I'll be sure to let his parents know that choosing my son as a target will be a problem for all concerned.

He had a great year last year and this one has started exceptionally well in regards to his education - I wont stand for anyone interfering with that.

[poppa smurf]

I really feel for your little fellers and really at a loss as to what I would do........I just thank the stars I raised my Kids out here where folks gather for simply enjoying each others company, any problems with kids are sorted out over a beer or three

[svo supporter]

Originally Posted by poppa smurf

that is actionable assault and police can and should be called........a visit from uniform officers to the principal and parents usually nips it in the bud

Right on the money.....These days, the assault laws are fairly tough and being hit without provication warrants an assault charge being laid.

[AU Mont]

if you reported that to my local police where i live, you would get laughed at and be told to take it up at the school......quote.. . "its not a police matter"

[MDS69]

Well now it is getting close to home.
Just found out my nephew in year 4 was apparently beat up by four year 6 kids. His dad, my brother, will not take too kindly to this and will go postal if the school doesn't do anything.

[Adamz Ghia]

My advice to my younger brother and sister was the same advice that was given to me. The first time you tell a teacher. The second time you do what ever you need to to defend yourself. After that I'll deal with the school. No child should fear going to school ever for any reason.

My sister was pinned to the ground and punched in the head by a bigger girl. She took my advice and got her steel ruler and cracked the girl with the side of the ruler across the face. Worked like a charm and wasn't bullied again. Just a matter if standing up for yourself...

[XBROO]

My boy started prep this year and I hope he dosen't get bullied, because I don't know if I could control myself. I'm glad I'm reading this as alot of it makes good sence. But I reckon all that would go out the window, if I found out he was being bullied. As I've grown up with the atitude of an eye for an eye. I also know of alot of ways to get people without having to worry about the law. But I know it isn't right it's just, I've had a shady past. But it's all behind me now, and my missus is very sensible. So I reckon I would let her handle it and just keep out of it. But if she couldn't using the right channels, like what's been mention. Then my past will come back.

[poppa smurf]

at the risk of being labelled the AFF lawyer I would like to submit a couple of articles for parents of school age kiddies

http://www.lawhandbook.org.au/handbook/ch06s03s03.php

http://www.elizsthps.sa.edu.au/docs/bullying.pdf

these were found after 2 minutes of searching, there is literally tons of info regarding this matter....your child has rights.....schools have obligations, protect the one and maintain the other.......search and increase your knowledge

if my kiddie/grand kiddie was getting bullied or assaulted I would not stand idly by........there are many lines of defence for him/her

find out your rights and more importantly the rights of the child, couple that with the obligations of the relevant authorities and stop your child becoming a victim

if they are of the computer age get their login details and scrutinise their inputs......many suicides have begun just like this

[svo supporter]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

if you reported that to my local police where i live, you would get laughed at and be told to take it up at the school......quote.. . "its not a police matter"

Which is why the police complaints authority exists...

The police along with schools have a duty of care to people....This thread falls under that category...

[ltd]

Simple.
Firstly, keep cool, make an appointment to meet the principal and whatever you do, don't get emotional. Keep records of conversations. Be as calm and as detached as you possibly can be. Remember, the principal deals with parents all day long and is used to over-protective parents exaggerating problems.

Meet with the principal. Tell them you're not happy with the response thus far and it is affecting the lives of your two children. Tell them you want them to grow up normally and not have to suffer unrelenting abuse which leads to depression and suicide and it is in fact the schools duty to intervene and put a stop to it.

Tell the principal that should this bullying continue you'll be forced to take it to the education department. This should normally end it, and you should get a response.

Contact the education department and outline all that has happened. Again, keep records, even ask people their full names and record them. You may need records later.

If all of this fails and the education department fails to act you can try what my sister once did with a catholic school:

Tell them you'll be forced to get your uncle/brother/father in law etc involved. Don't tell them what he allegedly does, make them ask. Answer them with "he is a barrister, and he's really disgusted at what's been happening to my kids and he said something about failing a duty of care and damages?" Be vague on the last bit too as though you're asking a question.

Why an uncle etc? Simply so they think you'll be getting free legal representation and will take it all the way.
In my sisters case I would have got a mate Dion who was a barrister sign some correspondence to give it weight if they failed to act, but they promptly pooped themselves and watched the actions of the offending boy over a week and promptly expelled him when they caught him in the act.

[robbyj]

Do you have proof of the death threats? like a text message or facebook inbox or something? Surely with the wife of bully assaulting your kid and proof of threats, something could be sorted out between the school, police and yourselves.

If the police show up at the principles door step inquiring as to what is happening, some drastic matters will be done quick smart.

[Madaya]

Thou shalt not bully.
Plain and simple, from the earliest age this should be taught.
It should be discussed in the earliest classes. Non of this soft touch stuff. Kids should be TOLD what constitutes bullying, what the results of bullying are and give them alternatives to bullying. Hell, kids are just trying to find their place in the world, most (not all) bullys are have been bullied at home from the age zero. From what I've read, the response of the parents of the bullier (have I just invented a new word?), is aggressive.
I guess I could say more on this subject.

[motorcycles4eva]

very disturbing to have these losers tormenting constantly to the point they are following and using others to continue crap.. what ever retaliation you take can either fix the problem or back fire..
for the last year my wife and i were getting harrassed or bullied by our ferrel neighbours. it started cracking me as i'm a happy go lucky guy who always finds the peace to not start trouble..
after they drained the oil out of my wifes car, i cracked... went to my neighbour and his son and basically made them an offer on the spot that they didn't refuse..i was on full on adrenaline rage and went there for war. They realised that my machette had their name on it and he crapped himself and appologised and told me to calm down, etc.. i made it clear i was going to burn his house down while his family were sleeping. i had enough.

pretty embarrasing for me when i calmed down cause i was someone i hadn't seen before.. i think about it today and shake my head. it could have been worse in many ways.

i have mates who associate with the wrong crowd but never wanted them involved, also i think it would have made me look like a pussy by hiding. maybe thats what we looked like by letting it go for too long.

its easy to say get into a roid rage and go nuts but what happens next? my solicitor at the time told me to count my losses and move.
i didn't listen, but, i was lucky how it turned out.
maybe move if you can, save yourself and your family.. especially your kid.. enrole him into martial arts for self defence.. .. dunno man.. you don't want junior to be depressed..not good..

[AU Mont]

Originally Posted by irish2

I think they are simply less resilient.

i think its the opposite, in my opinion of course

i believe kids these days are alot more aggresive, violent , less morals than 15 years ago when i went to school.

is it because violence is glorified in media, movies, music, internet 10x than it was many years ago?

[I reckon]

Originally Posted by motorcycles4eva

very disturbing to have these losers tormenting constantly to the point they are following and using others to continue crap.. what ever retaliation you take can either fix the problem or back fire..
for the last year my wife and i were getting harrassed or bullied by our ferrel neighbours. it started cracking me as i'm a happy go lucky guy who always finds the peace to not start trouble..
after they drained the oil out of my wifes car, i cracked... went to my neighbour and his son and basically made them an offer on the spot that they didn't refuse..i was on full on adrenaline rage and went there for war. They realised that my machette had their name on it and he crapped himself and appologised and told me to calm down, etc.. i made it clear i was going to burn his house down while his family were sleeping. i had enough.

pretty embarrasing for me when i calmed down cause i was someone i hadn't seen before.. i think about it today and shake my head. it could have been worse in many ways.

i have mates who associate with the wrong crowd but never wanted them involved, also i think it would have made me look like a pussy by hiding. maybe thats what we looked like by letting it go for too long.

its easy to say get into a roid rage and go nuts but what happens next? my solicitor at the time told me to count my losses and move.
i didn't listen, but, i was lucky how it turned out.
maybe move if you can, save yourself and your family.. especially your kid.. enrole him into martial arts for self defence.. .. dunno man.. you don't want junior to be depressed..not good..

Will we see you on ACA soon ?they love crazy peeps running around with machettes

[I reckon]

Bullying has been around since I was at school , sadly you just have to deal with it , if you tell someone and they find out you told it just gets worse from my experience .

What can they do anyway if you are the bullier ? Take your playstation away ? Suspend you ? They love being suspended , few days of school lets go hang around the malls,or beach and bully more people . It's a joke!

[XBROO]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

i think its the opposite, in my opinion of course

i believe kids these days are alot more aggresive, violent , less morals than 15 years ago when i went to school.

is it because violence is glorified in media, movies, music, internet 10x than it was many years ago?

Another thing is you can't smack your kids anymore, and a stern talking too only gose so far. When they start to realise that's all that happens, and there's no real consequence, then it dosen't mean nothing. So their respect is lost and it's very hard to build morals if there's no respect.

[svo supporter]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

i think its the opposite, in my opinion of course

i believe kids these days are alot more aggresive, violent , less morals than 15 years ago when i went to school.

is it because violence is glorified in media, movies, music, internet 10x than it was many years ago?

Personally I think it's because some do-gooders decided us parents/school principals/coppers weren't allowed to use a little force to disclipine them when they stepped to far out of line.


Kids are taught in school, if your Mummy, Daddy, Aunty or Uncle give you a smack, you can have them charged with assault. Hence why I think there are more little ***** around. (In other words, what has happened to your child/ren is clased as assault)

(coppers could toe you up the *** and the principal could give you the cane)

I know some of these comments could open up another area for debate, but I'd prefer not to go through that....