Advice Please....

[Feathers]

Originally Posted by PhilXR8

Grab the phone and read those damn messages.

It'll be far too late for that now. Those messages and the call register will have been erased.

[savagE]

By the sounds of it though, she seems to be getting plenty of fresh sms's... Wait til she goes to the bathroom, take phone for the night/day. Then head on over, see her reaction and plant it somewhere and let her find it. So it looks like nothing suspicious ever happened.

[mrxy8]

If there is no trust, then there is no basis to your relationship.

If for whatever reason you do work this out, you will still not trust them and you will ALLWAYS have that doubt in the back of your mind.
It's not the way to live. Cut your losses and walk away from it.

I too have been there and done that, just like most of the others here.

Put it down to life experience and bask in the glory of knowing that you did nothing wrong and that you will know what to look out for next time.

Obviously it is much easier for us to sit here and give you advise, as opposed to being there living through it, but you have to put your self first.

And finally, The best advise I was ever given. The advise that pulled me from a deep deep black hole, Given to me by a friendly Psychiatrist:

You can sit here in this moment, lamenting the past and not getting anywhere, or you can just get on with your life!

Hope that helps.
Good Luck

Mrxy8

[troppo]

Originally Posted by XR6_661

Well guys,

Here is how It went down.

Rang them both up, and said alright, we are gonna go bowling tonight and have a few drinks...Invited another friend as well.

We were all there, had a chat with them, asked them what the go was. Larry said that he was just talking to her about this chick he likes because my girlfriend knows her pretty well or something, so he was getting advice from her. He also said about the necklace thing, etc but seemed a bit weird about the whole thing. My girlfriend kept with the same story of the suprise, drinks & advice for larry.

Now the weird part is, somehow the going price for having suspision (with due cause I might add) is to have it all turned around back on myself. Saying that I should apologise to Larry and it was wrong of me, etc etc. To which I said, anyone in my position would have felt the same way, it's human nature, call it a hunch call it whatever, I know something is going on. And apprently I'm not a very good mate either cause I suspected him. Also, I asked the advice of another mate, Travis, who then blatently told larry that I had twigged something was going on.

SO last night didn't really get me too far. And to say the least, me and my baby made a very impressive exit departing the bowling alley. Managed to throw the car across both lanes of the road sideways in a huge trail of smoke. Made me feel better.

I'm seeing the missus at 2ish, and we have both agreed we are going to sort this crap out. The funny thing is, I'm pretty sure my girlfriend is being genuine about the whole thing and it seems to me that Larry is the cause here...I could be wrong though.

I'd just end it all kind of thing, but I really can't just drop these things without knowing the full story. I'll see it right through.

So just to be clear, Larry is your lifelong friend and you've known each other longer than either of you have known your GF and her friends? And Larry is keen on a chick that your GF knows? So keen he is willing to risk your friendship by texting your mrs behind your back to hook him up with this friend...and yet he's never mentioned this chick to you before? Does this chick have a name yet? Lisa? Jodie? It just seems strange that this best mate is apparently in love with a chick and not mention at least how hot he thought she was....unless it's the same chick his mate is going out with.

I'm afraid to say it mate but confronting them both together gave them a chance to hear what the other was saying and stick to the script then lay on the guilt trip on you. As said, one of the oldest tricks in the book so you come out looking like a jealous ******** that drove her into his arms, instead of them looking like...well, you know what.
All the incriminating messages are already gone.

The next oldest trick in the book is to counter that by splitting them up and telling both the other has already fessed up and you really only want to hear their side now to decide whether there is anything left of the friendship/relationship worth salvaging. The police do it all the time, the trick is to not let them talk and update each other in between...so sometime when you're all together, take them aside one at a time (I'd suggest starting with her and turn it into a mild argument if possible), then go straight to the other and tell them the first one spilled the beans...

[troppo]

Originally Posted by mrxy8

You can sit here in this moment, lamenting the past and not getting anywhere, or you can just get on with your life!

I agree...the best advice I got was a mate sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "She's not worth it and he's just a w$#%ker so F$^#$^ING GET OVER IT!!"

[tolzero]

MRXY8 very good advice, like you say you have to trust your partner and she you and by the sounds of it you don't. I'm assuming you are young and her aswell so there is plenty of time to move on and find another.

thats the best bit about being young and single - KEEP trying

Don't keep beating yourself up over questions you can't answer (what she is up to), you have answered the main question - you don't trust her, move on with your pride and head held high and keep looking.

If she does end up with your "mate" let him know that his new love has a proven track record of not being faithful and that you will see him in a couple of years with HIS tail between his legs and a big slice of humble pie for him.

And in ten years when you look back and probably are with the one you truly love you and trust you will laugh at how many girls you fell in "love" with up till then. GEEZ up until I found my ONE I was falling in love every Friday and Sat nite only to fall again the next week.

Good luck though

[mrxy8]

Originally Posted by tolzero

thats the best bit about being young and single - KEEP trying

Hell yeah!
And keep trying and trying and trying and trying and trying and trying and trying and trying and trying and trying and ..................

Make the most of it while you can!

Just remember:
Dr. Mrxy8 recommends you always use protection!
Because some memories just shouldn't last!

[montyv8]

reckon he's been locked up for attacking larry? :hihi:
/looks forward to update...

[vandrsxr6]

Originally Posted by montyv8

reckon he's been locked up for attacking larry? :hihi:
/looks forward to update...

I think his GF choked him to death with this "gold necklace"

[5L]

either that or he is having a 3 way with his mrs and larry.

me and my mrs always grab each others phones and play around with them, sometimes we get funny messeges and forget to tell each other, or messeges that involve what we are doing on the weekends and forget. i work nights, she works days and in that period there are many of oppurtunities for it to slip your mind.

id grab the phone when she went to the toilet, go through it see whats really down if she was smart about it she would delete messeges as they come though. and if you cant get the phone id put it blunt to her either she lets you go through her phone or tell her "the doors there, im sure larry will come pick you up"

if he wanted advice bout a chick why cant they discuss it infront of you, and if they tried to do a suprise for your b-day they didnt do a good job, couldnt even get it close to your b-day. now the "suprise is ruined he doesnt have to msg her anymore.

[IDT]

REMEMBER LIFE IS A BUS ROUTE and Chicks are the buses. Get off one and watch it leave, before you know it another one will arrive and want you to hop on. When its time to get off listen to THE WARNING BELLS. : : :

[reece1]

walk away i no its hard but there making a fool out of you. it cann hurt if you like her but it will only get worse. dont stalk her. just move on you will be much better for it. it sounds like shes driving you mental. dead set not worth it man. you will find someone much better. never settle for deceit you will never get past it. a women is like a monkey it wont let go of one branch before its got hold of another. and they are always 2 steps ahead in this department.

[Geez Louise]

Since this thread started...I wonder how many of you guys have checked ya girlfriend/ wifes phones....

[aye you]

probably everyone of us lol.

hopefully it all works out for ya mate

[ea90gl]

Originally Posted by XR6_661

Well guys,

Here is how It went down.

Rang them both up, and said alright, we are gonna go bowling tonight and have a few drinks...Invited another friend as well.

We were all there, had a chat with them, asked them what the go was. Larry said that he was just talking to her about this chick he likes because my girlfriend knows her pretty well or something, so he was getting advice from her. He also said about the necklace thing, etc but seemed a bit weird about the whole thing. My girlfriend kept with the same story of the suprise, drinks & advice for larry.

Now the weird part is, somehow the going price for having suspision (with due cause I might add) is to have it all turned around back on myself. Saying that I should apologise to Larry and it was wrong of me, etc etc. To which I said, anyone in my position would have felt the same way, it's human nature, call it a hunch call it whatever, I know something is going on. And apprently I'm not a very good mate either cause I suspected him. Also, I asked the advice of another mate, Travis, who then blatently told larry that I had twigged something was going on.
SO last night didn't really get me too far. And to say the least, me and my baby made a very impressive exit departing the bowling alley. Managed to throw the car across both lanes of the road sideways in a huge trail of smoke. Made me feel better.

I'm seeing the missus at 2ish, and we have both agreed we are going to sort this crap out. The funny thing is, I'm pretty sure my girlfriend is being genuine about the whole thing and it seems to me that Larry is the cause here...I could be wrong though.

I'd just end it all kind of thing, but I really can't just drop these things without knowing the full story. I'll see it right through.

thats exactly what I was trying to point out in my other post but make sure you dont hear any of the bull sh!t, hold your own and make sure you be firm. As soon as you go off saying that its your own fault you will automatically be seen as a living satan when in actual fact you're not so look out and be smart, let us know how you go

[MAGPIE]

Smack Larry and be done with it :

And yeah it's time to change buses :

[GT0132]

Mate...This is not good...I've been there myself.

My ex wife of 12 years was up to the same tricks....One day when getting some money out of her purse to go to teh shop to get some milk I discovered she had a second mobile phone that I wasn't aware of....When I asked for an explanation the response was "oh...Vodafone gave me a new free handset for being a good customer over the past 3 years" ...I accepted that and thought nothing more of it..Over the course of the next two years she'd spend excessive time in the bathroom or would make excuses to go to the shop to buy two items and not return for 90 or so minutes, excuse being they were busy at the checkouts.....what at 11.30 on a Saturday night?...yeah right.

My wife was a female version of Shane Warne.

As time went on I discover that she set up a hotmail address. I got home from work one night and, soon after, she went out to a school P&C meeting but the silly girl forgot to log out of her hotmail....Upon discovering this I became curious and opened up emails from this "supposed mate of mine" to her professing love dating back from mid 2004 to July 2006 and how she should hurry up and leave me and even had teh cheek of working out how much money she'd get if she divorced me.

I replied to some of his messages to her using language so he knew it was me sending them...He's absolutley scared of ever coming across me because he knows he'll need an ambulance close by. Thats another story.

I confronted her and she couldn't lie so spilt her guts to me about the whole scene.

I was physically sick, but not so much shocked as I had my suspicions.

Naturally all trust was gone, so within a month I packed my stuff and left and i'm a much better person now for it.

Mate your situation sounds a lot like mine. However mines a little more complicated in that we have 2 kids, a house and a divorce to go through. To be honest with you I'd forget her, move on...she ain't worth it...and your friend may find one day that his jaw may make a connection with your fist (accidental of course) for being such a loyal mate.

Its not all women though...Heard stories blokes doing the same thing . There are good women out there and one day you'll find her...She's not for you

Good luck
Pete

[fpr_esp]

lmfao have just lmao reading all the replies. larry needs a beat down a reallity check if ya will, i feel for ya dude i can honestly say ive been thier and had it turned on me aswell. after all the pre-susspicions and crap that leads up to the confrontation, i played it smart i got hard evidence before i confronted her i would say its late must get some sleep before work in the morning then drive around the corner and park, one night i sat thier waiting for 3 hours and sure enough she comes out in her crappy holden gemini, ( should have known never trust a holden driver) anyhoo id follow her and sure enough she was going to a ex's house this went on for a week before i decided to confont her on it. my problem was i had become good friends with her ex he was my partner in beer crime (drinking buddie) lol. so i confronted her and hows this she dumps me on the spot for not trusting her i simply called her a decieving cow told her to shove the relationship up her ***. next morning went to the ex's house that was pretending to be a mate to be closer to her (yes im an idiot for not seeing it earlier hehe) walked up to him as he got in his car for work nice xe fairmont ghia btw lol told him he was a dog and layed the smack down on his ***, never seen anyone get in a fetal position like he did was so funny and moved on i felt better after that. my advice is knock larry the you know what out and tell ya missus to get you know what and move on chances are the trust is gone now anyway. good luck on what you decide.

[Ringo]

Originally Posted by montyv8

I saw this movie once, had the following conversation..
"dude, dump her. but, before you do, **** her like a $2 , do the freakiest ever to that , then, just before the money shot, call her another chicks name"

:hihi:

....Clerks or Mall Rats?...I know that is Jay's line

[XR6_661]

Well,

Latest update.

It's all sort of fizzled down for now...Last night I sat down with them again.

I was calm and collected. I said to them that I wanted this to be sorted out, and I don't want any arguements or anything like that.

We chatted away for a while, and I said, alright, now, both of you, as honest as I stand here naw, can you tell me there is nothing going on?

Still sticking to the same story....

Needless to say guy's. I'm free of it now.

Got aquainted with the couch and a bottle of vodka...Probably cried enough to refill the bottle. But all is good now!

Thanks for all the advice and help guys! Much appreciated.

I can honestly say, I feel like a new man! Went and got a hair cut, new clothes, spent a whole day detailing the car! Feels good.

[Geez Louise]

So you ended it or just free coz you got the truth??

[XR6_661]

Ended it!! =]

[Geez Louise]

Good for you!!! Plenty more fish in the sea buddy! and YOU deserve better!!

[fordel]

Originally Posted by Geez Louise

Since this thread started...I wonder how many of you guys have checked ya girlfriend/ wifes phones....

Not me ;)

I trust my G/F and if she wanted to do that sorta stuff, then id just leave, simple as that

But I have no reason not to trust her

[ZA-289]

Good work man, you did the right thing. You could never trust her again.

Good luck finding a sexy new trustworthy GF!!

[AUIIForte]

Mate, I had a very, VERY long reply to put up here, but I decided to put it into a short sentence instead: You are a bloody tough bloke, you seem very smart and confident in what you chose to do in your situation. Make the best of it now! I would drink a few beers, catch up with some friends, and play it all sweet.

You are single again, as if that doesn't feel awesome! So many people go through this kind of thing, but they don't turn out like you! I admire you! Seriously, you seem full of strength. I even bet that you could have done A LOT better than that girl anyway, you deserve better!

From Poland, AUIIForte!

[TUF_302]

Good stuff mate, having a gf is great, but if your unhappy being single is the best!!!

[XR6_661]

Also, as a nice part of my 'rehab'

I am currently umming and ahhhing over buying a second hand BF Pursuite ute =]

Just gotta make sure I can afford it for sure =]

[Geez Louise]

Sell ya gold necklace....use that toward the deposit!!!

[XR6_661]

Nah, I didn't end up getting one haha.