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Old 25-02-2008, 07:53 PM   #31
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Very sorry to hear of your loss mate, I'm sure that your brother did find peace.

Stay strong mate.
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Old 25-02-2008, 07:58 PM   #32
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Very sorry for your loss my friend.

May the time ahead be one that pulls your family together and may you find peace in this time of deep sadness.

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Old 25-02-2008, 08:13 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JC
Thanks - it appears that the hit/miss nature of the treament is what tipped him over the edge. He had been "coping" - not very well, but he was still alive. Then he went on meds for a little over a week with no improvement - in fact, if anything, they made him feel worse. Knowing him, he probably thought "well, if these aren't helping, I have no future". His note says that he didn't want to be a burden to anyone and he couldn't see that it was getting any better - a terrible mind set to be in, but he was, in a funny way, thiking of others, as he always did. Of course he would/may have been better going back to the doc and getting a different type of med, but I think he had faced the demon for long enough and didn't have the mental strength to go on. Before any of this, I would not have associated depression and my brother together at all.

I will certainly miss him, as will the rest of his family, and his partner, and the many friends all over the world that he has left behind. RIP.
I'm afraid you are right there mate...part of the problem with depression is the constant feeling of being overwhelmed by life in general. You have good days and bad days and on the bad ones, the slightest thing can sometimes be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

I don't know you and didn't know your brother but if you want to chat more with someone who has been on both sides of this fence, feel free to PM me.
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Old 25-02-2008, 08:15 PM   #34
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sorry for your loss jc,losing family that young is a great loss,my condolences to your family to.
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Old 25-02-2008, 09:30 PM   #35
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I personally don't know you JC, but please accept my family's sincere condolences on the loss of your brother.

Chippy.
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Old 25-02-2008, 11:32 PM   #36
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As said by all above, my condolences to you and your family.
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Old 26-02-2008, 12:26 AM   #37
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Terrible to hear mate, My most sincere condolences go out to you and your family.

A person is not who they are during your last conversation, but who they have been throughout your life. I doubt that it helps, but it did when a very close friend lost his battle aswell, thats what his mum told me...
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Old 26-02-2008, 08:21 AM   #38
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my condolences,and best wishes in your time of need,jas
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Old 26-02-2008, 09:05 AM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by [Tonko]
A person is not who they are during your last conversation, but who they have been throughout your life. I doubt that it helps, but it did when a very close friend lost his battle aswell, thats what his mum told me...
I've heard the same words when a mate of mine took his life. Such a shock, and so sudden.

My condolences to you and your family, JC.
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Old 27-02-2008, 01:53 PM   #40
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Whilst offering my condolences seems so inadequate for such a loss, I whole heartedly offer them all the same.

I hope just knowing that others are thinking of you in this terrible time helps you some, and knowing that your brother is finally at peace.

Take care
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Old 27-02-2008, 02:20 PM   #41
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Must be real hard, sorry to hear it. Don't really know what to say but I feel for you and your family.

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Old 27-02-2008, 05:27 PM   #42
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very sorry to hear that, my best friend's brother also had the same fate, he's never been the same and was close to doing the same as he had already lost his father and his foster brother, luckily he is alright now though. condolences to your family
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Old 27-02-2008, 06:13 PM   #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue Oval Mopar Man
JC, I dont know you but My heart goes out to you and yours. I wish you all the best and remember all the good times mate !
Likewise JC.
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Old 27-02-2008, 08:07 PM   #44
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Sorry to hear mate. Condolences. It deeply hurts to see this happen.
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Old 27-02-2008, 09:50 PM   #45
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Sorry for your loss JC, and my sincere condolences to you and everyone affected by this tragedy.
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Old 28-02-2008, 12:32 AM   #46
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Our thoughts and best wishes are with you and your family in your time of need
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Old 28-02-2008, 12:47 AM   #47
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Sorry to hear this JC.Many condolences to you and all family members.Always sad to hear someone go out like this.
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Old 28-02-2008, 12:51 AM   #48
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Thanks all. I got to see him today (viewing prior to the funeral tomorrow) - was fairly teary, but not too bad. We've written a eulogy and I think that will be pretty hard to read out on the day, but I'm going to pretend I'm doing a work presentation, and see how it goes from there.

As for the the future, I guess we'll get used to life without him, but it just won't be the same.

Eulogy is below:

We would just like to say a few words about what MC meant to us as a brother, and what life was like growing up with him. There was certainly never a dull moment.

MC was the fourth of six kids. He was the youngest of the three boys, but he grew to be the tallest, strongest and arguably the loudest member of the family. From a young age he always looked out for his siblings and wanted to do whatever the older kids did, no matter the physical challenges and consequences. When he was three, he was given a two-wheeler bicycle with training wheels but demanded JC take the training wheels off because they were slowing him down – he couldn’t corner fast enough with them on. As a result, he crashed and went over the handle bars and had to get medical treatment for some months. That still didn’t slow him down; he always loved life in the fast lane and embraced every opportunity for new adventures.

If there ever was a brother that was a mate, MC was it - when he wasn’t dobbing on us or stirring us up, and he especially loved to use his teeth for maximum effect to scare the little ones (he never grew out of this, going on to torment his nephews and nieces whom he affectionately referred to as his "Rookies"!) You have heard from Dad how he got them knocked out (though MC denies that version, but he never really offered an alternate version). Those false teeth provided MC and the rest of us with years of entertainment. There were the times when he’d plant them somewhere like in the bottom of your glass just for kicks, or chase you around the house doing a Freddy Kruger impersonation with his teeth hanging out of his mouth and knives taped to each finger. And who can forget that infamous occasion after a family dinner at Sizzler Restaurant for his birthday, when he vomited out the car window on the way home and we had to go back so he could search for his teeth amongst the remnants of his dinner on the road.

C's are just a little competitive and MC was no exception. He was a tough contender in everything from a casual kick of the footy, to strong representation in Aussie Rules. He was selected to play for the ACT in the Teal Cup, as well as playing for St Edmund’s College, the Tuggeranong Cowboys, and later the Wimbledon Hawks in London. Growing up, summers were spent playing all sorts of sports with his siblings and any other kids willing to take part in a bit of rough play. There were:
• backyard cricket matches that ended only when darkness made it impossible to see the ball (or when the ball hit the kitchen window, whichever happened first);
• the touch footy games on next door’s lawn that involved a very liberal interpretation of ‘touch’ – a definition more closely aligned with running someone down and pinning them to the lawn; and
• the snooker games in the garage against Dad and his cohorts which carried on for hours, usually because Dad wouldn’t let us go to bed until he’d won a game.

Having grown up in a family with such a competitive approach to leisure activities was probably part of the reason why MC ended up being as determined as he was as an adult – there was certainly no quarter given just because he was the youngest of the boys. He knew if he wanted the ball, he had to mark it or chase it or tackle someone to get it. The battles would sometimes become physical, and MC was rarely the one on the bottom of the pack.

As a young tacker, MC was obsessed by Star Wars and would do a good Luke Skywalker impersonation with a broom stick as his light saber. By the time his voice broke, he had given up the broom stick for weights using JC’s old weight set (MC would point out that JC just carries the weight now, rather than using it for exercise). Bench-pressing and curls became a part of his routine before a night out on the town – he would pump some iron to make his chest and biceps look bigger before hitting the clubs, and would go around the house flexing and asking ‘how do you like these puppies?’!

Every young bloke wants to be able to get around independently. MC got his driving licence at the age of 17 but unfortunately never became overly familiar with vehicle maintenance. One attempt to fill the folks’ car up with oil on our very steep driveway resulted in flooding the engine. A few years later, neglecting the oil altogether resulted in him breaking down in Marulan and a $2500 mechanic’s bill.

Lack of mechanical aptitude didn’t stop him though – he simply used his Inventiveness to overcome any mechanical-type challenges he faced. Like when his car indicator arm snapped off, he stuck a pen in the socket and used that to operate his blinkers. Other times he simply switched off warning signals so he didn’t have to deal with them, like when he asked Patto to permanently disable the warning light which was telling him to get his car serviced. And on the many occasions that his false teeth broke, he used superglue to put them back together.

Relating these stories today helps us to show that MC was a colourful, outgoing character who loved life and packed more into his 33 years than many others pack into a century. He had a great sense of humour and loved to take the out of himself as much as others, but on the other hand he was also a very caring person and a deep thinker who we often went to for advice on everything from romance to career path.

If it was subtlety you were after, then you may have been disappointed when asking MC for advice or an opinion. He did not mince words; he would tell it to you straight and usually get it right, even when it wasn’t what you wanted to hear. He loved debating different points of view and could convincingly argue either side of an issue; he would sometimes offer an alternative viewpoint even if he didn’t share that viewpoint, just to challenge your thinking.

People measure their lives in many ways – for MC, part of the measure of his life is here today; all of you have come here to pay your respects, plus all those who would’ve liked to have made it, but couldn’t. He was a dominant influence on our lives, and on the lives of so many of his friends and family, and his passing presents a void that will never be filled. It is hard to believe we will never again hear his cheery greeting ‘Gidday Champ’. We cannot begin to imagine the pain and torment he was feeling in the last few months, but trust he has found peace, and that he knows how much he was loved.

Champ, we miss you so much and will love and remember you always.
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Old 28-02-2008, 01:03 AM   #49
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Sorry to hear J.C...Ive been away for a few days...
Depression is a strange thing.. Even people that seem happy can suffer from it....
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Old 28-02-2008, 05:48 AM   #50
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Very sorry to hear JC.

Even when one has been to the dark side and returned, one never quite fully returns. I'm sure he is in a better place. Try to always focus on the happy times. There are plenty of people here you can talk to at any time.
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Old 28-02-2008, 06:59 AM   #51
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I know I posted before, but I just wanted to say that the eulogy that was written for your brother speaks of a wonderful sounding man. A man who we'd all like to have known, to have hung out with and shared a few beers with.

Must say in reading it I had a little cry, because he sounds like he was in a way, similiar to my dad. I lost my dad when I was 15, a crappy age for a boy to lose his dad. Even though Im now 24, I still have off days where I wish, more than anything, he was around. I was never able to share a beer with my dad, or have my dad there when I got my licence, or any of the normal things teenage boys share with their dad while growing up. I miss him dearly.

But they never really leave mate. They're always right there with you. I will always remember my dad for the lovable, deep thinking larrikin that he was. Serious when it counted, but never took life too seriously.

And likewise, you'll find your brother will be right there with you too. The fun loving bloke with all his quirks, will always live on. With you, with your family and with his friends, he will always be there.

Best wishes mate.
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Old 28-02-2008, 10:20 AM   #52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by broken_suave
I know I posted before, but I just wanted to say that the eulogy that was written for your brother speaks of a wonderful sounding man. A man who we'd all like to have known, to have hung out with and shared a few beers with.

Must say in reading it I had a little cry, because he sounds like he was in a way, similiar to my dad. I lost my dad when I was 15, a crappy age for a boy to lose his dad. Even though Im now 24, I still have off days where I wish, more than anything, he was around. I was never able to share a beer with my dad, or have my dad there when I got my licence, or any of the normal things teenage boys share with their dad while growing up. I miss him dearly.

But they never really leave mate. They're always right there with you. I will always remember my dad for the lovable, deep thinking larrikin that he was. Serious when it counted, but never took life too seriously.

And likewise, you'll find your brother will be right there with you too. The fun loving bloke with all his quirks, will always live on. With you, with your family and with his friends, he will always be there.

Best wishes mate.
My sister and I have already had 2 "visits" from MC. For my sister, the music in their family room came on blaring at 1.30am with the black eyed peas - ironically, track 7 on the CD, and his birthday was the 7th. For me, I swear he was standing by my bed the other (early) morning and said "What are you doing here?". I know mine was probably just a dream - but the music thing was weird, for sure.
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